Hey my darling Krisha - we miss you - everyday !
It has been three months since Krisha passed away - equal to the time she was with us. Enough time for me to at times be able to say out loud that she is no more and manage not to cry. A friend of mine asked me how it was and if I saw her pictures and thought of her everyday. I think of her all the time, every time I see twin strollers, every time I hear the siren of the ambulance, every time i see Kaira sleeping, every time I open my wallet and see her picture, every time I pass her picture at home, I could be out shopping or talking to someone but there is a heaviness in my heart and Krisha is with me all the time.
At times the pain is so acute it hits you and i feel my heart sinking - i am sleeping and all of a sudden i am reliving the day she passed away as if it were yesterday - at times it seems so unreal and i feel i will wake up from a bad dream. I just don't feel i am the same person anymore, don't think Deepak and I will ever be. I pray to God that wherever she is she is ok, I pray for all other parents who i know have gone through this and I pray to God to bless everyones children and keep them safe.
I think of how different our life would be right now, if we had twin girls, or even if she had HLHS we would be preparing for her second surgery - it was a different world with her. Think Krisha will be a part of our existence and who we are now. Wish she could have stayed with us forever or at least some more time or I could hold her again.
We love you my baby doll and you will be with us forever.
Love ...mom
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